sleep interrupted

it's 4:45 pm and that blasted car at the parking lot downstairs that woke me up earlier with it's anti-theft alarm is still blaring. i wish somebody would steal that car for real so that it would stop disturbing half the apartment building's tenants. seriously.

so i am sick once again. how many times have i blogged about being sick huh? i really should start taking care of myself now. i should stop ignoring my need for sleep. my sleeping patterns have been so out of whack lately (even when i'm not working). i should also try to remember taking my vitamins daily and exercise more, because hey, that's what the gym membership is for.

because i couldn't take the irritating sound that the stupid car was making i brought my pillow and blanket to the couch and tried to continue my interrupted sleep. i figured the sound of television would help me get to sleep and ignore stupid-blaring-car. it didn't worked.

so off to shoprite i went so that at least i could do something productive with my time and bought myself cold and flu neccesities like tissues (which i'm rapidly running out of), otc meds and any citrusy fruit. i was in and out of the grocery in a flash.

back in the apartment i did a little bit of cooking, ate, took my meds and slept peacefully on our second hand couch. finally the stupid-blaring-car stopped blaring or somebody must have stolen it already and i couldn't care less. i woke up at 1:30 in the morning and finished everything that i've been working on my laptop including this post.

i'll probably be awake the whole day today, unless i take some nyquills. my sleeping pattern still out of whack, i tell you.

gym drag

i went back to my gym today.... yay for me!

after not waking up for our 9 am step class and having stood up hannie (to which she's probably mad because she hasn't replied to my sorry text yet) yesterday, i dragged my lazy ass to the gym after work. it took a lot of determination to drive to the gym on a cold, rainy morning after a 12 hour shift at the hospital but i did it anyway.

on my way there, i kept thinking of stupid reasons not to go to the gym. visions of my unmade bed, my comforter and my pillows kept popping in my mind. i was really tempted to go back to the apartment when i stopped at a red light, but i was already halfway there so i kept on driving.
despite the muggy weather, there were still a lot of people sweating it out at the gym. the regular old ladies who works out in groups and who i have a high respect for were already doing warm ups. i mean, here i am, a strong energetic girl who just turned 30, thinking about cutting my usual 1 hour gym time to 45 minutes and these grannies are practically at the gym every morning and seems to be enjoying it.

it's not that i don't enjoy working out. it actually kinda relaxes me and keeps me up and about most of the time. it focuses my mind on becoming healthy. it gives me the drive to stay away from evil, evil chocolates, not to mention that it updates me on the latest about britney spears, lindsay lohan, brangelina etc. while on the treadmill. it's the drive going to the gym that is such a drag for me. i almost always feel like there's a lead weight on my feet while i'm going up the stairs that leads to the locker room. changing into my gym clothes takes a lot of effort on my part. but once i'm up on one of those elliptical machines with my ipod on, trying to ignore the chatty mother of two beside me while browsing the latest copy of us and people magazine, there is no turning back for me.

i hope i could will myself to go to the gym tomorrow. good luck na lang sa akin!

taking a breather from fun

"I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." Eleanor Roosevelt

i was supposed to go to florida to attend the christening of kyla, my college friend's daughter. dennis was bugging me about my schedule for the longest time. sadly it didn't worked out so i will be stuck here to sort out the stuff that i've been putting off for long. the summer months were hectic and it was definitely one of the most fun i've had, but i should slow things down a bit and take some time off from having too much fun. that is until december comes along and we start the ball rolling again with an NBA game between the knicks and our very own nets.
until then i will be this person who will while away the cold, boring days and nights watching tv, playing wii and accomplishing the important stuff that needs to be done.

damn it...i can't wait for december!

so sick

i am sick.

i was on a more than two weeks of hiatus from work. i took some requested days off and used up some of my PTO's so that i could spend some time going away on a long weekend with friends who came from the UK. in between our trip to toronto and driving to and from new jersey, i used up two of those days to renew my expired PALS (pediatric advance life support) certification. luckily i passed the course even without reading any of the course materials those ems guys provided. bringing that manual with me to my toronto vacation proved to be useless, because i never got around to reading it. how i passed the pactical exams, i have no idea.

so anyway, i am battling it out with the colds, a low grade fever and a scratchy throat. post nasal drips are my thing right now. i have gone through two boxes of kleenex in three days and am working on my third box as i type this. i am chugging bottles of water and switching from motrin and tylenol every 4 to 6 hours.

so how the hell did i got sick? well for starters, i didn't get much sleep on those how many days of vacation to canada, i was kinda tired with the drive to and from canada which dennis and i split. i spent the night before my PALS course taking pictures in liberty park not thinking of the very cold weather and then driving back home at 1 in the morning by myself hoping that i'd have a good night's sleep before my class. of course it didn't helped that the weather couldn't make up it's mind. one day it's so sunny and humid and warm, next day it would get so cold. i mean come on... the leaves are turning orange already, just get it on with the autumn weather for god's sake!

so yeah, i'm stuck with my lozenges, nyquils, dayquils and the vitamin c's that i only remember taking whenever i feel like i'm gonna be sick. bad nurse, i know!

i make lists

do i have any plans of continuing blogging? oh yes i do! it's just that my days have been busier and i'm trying to focus more on one thing that blogging has been shoved down into the lower rungs of my priorities.

so since i blogged in bullets the last time, let me do it in lists this time.

things that makes me go yay!

1. a warm sunny day where i don't have to go to work.
2. playing with a cute puppy.
3. the idea that i'm going home in november.
4. good music.
5. a nice book.
6. mini breaks.
7. finding out that i've lost a pound despite not trying.
8. being able to sleep at night.
9. remembering a good dream when i wake up in the morning.
10. a quiet, problem free night at work.

things that make me go boo!

1. the last day of a four days off stretch.
2. whiny people.
3. a gloomy rainy weather on a non working day.
4. getting dumped with admissions.
5. getting stuck with crappy tv shows without any good dvd in sight.
6. friends that are not keeping in touch.
7. junk mails and telemarketers.
8. days when you badly needed to do laundry and you don't have any quarters in hand.
9. getting lost in the back roads.
10. people who do not mind their own business.

ok so here's a list of questions that i found in a crumpled piece of paper inside my bag. i don't know if i got it somewhere or if i've written it on one of my downtimes at work or in the train or inside my car. it's really random stuff but i like it.

what's important?

each day.

what do you treasure most?

sunshine.

fave night out?

my couch, a rom-com movie and popcorn.

what did you expect you'd be, but are not?

tall

what makes you sad?

insensitivity of people.

what would you give your daughter?

self-confidence.

what does the world need now?

a little bit more of love.

bullets

this post is gonna be in bullets, because i'm too lazy to string together sentences to make coherent paragraphs.

• thank god we're done moving! we're beginning to get settled, but there are still boxes and stuff lying around the house but right now, i just couldn't be bothered.

• our cable, internet and phone lines have been reconnected yesterday (yay for that!) by two guys from verizon who robbed me of my needed sleep before i go to work.

• it still feels weird having a roommate again but i know i'll get used to it.

• the weather is getting crazier and crazier everyday. why can't it just make up it's mind! i mean, my flipflops are all set to go... he he he

• certain people are getting what they deserve. i just love how karma rules!

• i want a mini break for myself.

• i just realized i haven't read a good book in months now. i miss my books!

• it would be a real treat to watch another sunset again.

• i still haven't gotten around to going to the guitar lessons hannie has been bugging me to go to. i guess i'm gonna be frustrated when it comes to playing the guitar for the rest of my life.

• i hate how i went over my free cellphone minutes last month. how did that happened? i have never went over my free minutes, ever! i guess i should stop talking a lot on my cellphone.

• we're going to washington dc tomorrow to ogle the cherry blossoms...tee hee! i hope the weather doesn't get too cold. we'll leave in the morning, that's why i have to go pack my stuff and end this post....now.

on being thirty

i come home from work tired and sleepy ready to jump into my bed after 12 hours. yesterday, i was 29 years old. today i turn 30... and what a sad day to turn 30, because just a few hours ago i admitted a 2 year old boy who just lost a mother, a brother, a sister and their home in a fire. i heard from the ER nurse that his dad is still waiting for a telemetry bed down in the ER.

it was the most difficult admission i've done not because the doctor's orders were complicated (that was actually the easiest part) but because it was hard to act like i wasn't affected while i was asking the grandmother and the aunt questions for the admission history. i mean how do i ask them about allergies, about their family health history and about that 2 year old's usual bowel movement pattern without eliciting tears from them and not looking like an insensitive jerk. that was so not the way i thought i would start my birthday. i felt sorry for the family's loss. i felt sorry for the boy who all of a sudden has no mommy to come home to. all throughout the time i was starting an IV line on the boy, i kept thinking about what's in store for him in the future and with all the support i've seen from the family, i know that he's gonna be okay.

anyways, i forego sleep and pondered on what i would do today now that i'm 30. i don't wanna do anything special or anything different. i just wanna be with myself.

when i was in grade school, i used to think that i would feel differently when i get to the big 3-0. that i'd be this really matured person who would scoff at people being silly in their carefree ways. i thought that i'd turn into this strict-librarian-type of person who wouldn't know how to have fun. i honestly thought that being 30 would totally suck. but it surely doesn't.

i realized that at 30, i could still watch spongebob squarepants and enjoy it's (sometimes) sick humor. that i could run around the hallways of the apartment building with nicolas (adriana's dog) running after me without feeling silly. i could still play games and ride bikes with my friends kids in the park during our once a year picnic. that i could sit in the playroom with my toddler patient and color books or finish a jigsaw puzzle or just watch the fishies in the tank as they gobble up the fish food and still call it work. i guess i could put it in this perspective. i could still be a kid at heart and get away with it being 30 and all.

a friend asked me the other night over the phone what would be the worst part about seeing my 20's go away? i guess the fact that i cannot go back to it all. that there were a lot of things that i haven't done or tried to do because i was too busy, too lazy or too scared to do it. excuses... excuses... this time there shouldn't be any at all.